Let’s talk about being overwhelmed.. shall we. Y’all if you’re a mama, if you’re a wife, if you run a business… oh yea – and if you’re human – overwhelm & stress can’t be completely avoided… BUT – why would we wanna pile onto what life already deals out?
Today I’m sharing 9 of the things that I see my 1:1 clients doing that are causing their overwhelm & give you some strategies to fight back against it!
9 Things You’re Doing to Cause Your Overwhelm
1. Neglecting to Plan
Don’t underestimate the power of a good plan. Knowing what needs to get done, who’s going to do it, + how you’re going to do it – all of that will help quell the decision fatigue that comes with deciding in the moment.
Strategy : Set aside one hour per week to create a solid plan. Make any and all decisions for the week while you’re in the decision making mindset. Know what tasks are priority, what you will eat, what your ‘schedules’ look like. Communicate with your partner on this plan – make sure you’re on the same page. Click here to get my free weekly planning guide!
2. Not Setting & Maintaining Boundaries
Do you find yourself with little to no time for the things that are most important to you. Whether that means wishing you were spending more time with family (quality time, not nagging about virtual school) or working towards those goals you wrote down at the front of your planner – you seem to be constantly busy, but not accomplishing anything..
If this is you – your boundaries need a real hard audit. Take a look at what is dominating your time, and how that aligns with your goals & priorities. If you’re spending time on the extra ‘fluff’ but your time tank is empty for the rocks of your life – your boundaries need improvement. It’s time to get familiar with the word NO.
Strategy : Create & stick to a CORE 4 life priority structure. Decide on the 4 areas of your life you want to focus the bulk of your time and attention to. Then STICK TO IT. Use the word N O when you’re asked for a time or attention commitment that would leave you sacrificing time from your CORE 4. If you are ready to learn more about boundaries & this CORE 4 priority system – take my FREE CORE 4 Masterclass!
3. Allowing Someone Else to Define You
Are you writing your story – or are you catering to others expectations or assumptions of yourself. All too often, women allow outside influences to penetrate their belief in themselves. This maybe someone close to you – or society in general.. but guess what – YOU and you alone get to decide how your story is written! No one else gets to define you!
Strategy : Mute & Unfollow – both online & in real life. If you have someone in your life that is causing mindset disruptions, you are allowed – hell I’m going to encourage you to hit the MUTE & Unfollow button in real life.
Likewise, take a look at your socials. Make sure you are only following social channels that inspire you, and lift you up. If your feed has someone in it that makes you feel ‘less’ UNFOLLOW is there for a reason. Use it. Don’t give anyone the power to steal your joy.
4. Perfection Procrastination
If you find yourself never making progress on an ever growing ‘to do’ list – this could be one of the reasons why. Are you either :
A) Waiting on the perfect time, situation, weather, mood, etc. to do this ‘thing’
B) Keep working on it until it meets your unrealistic expectation of perfect.
Perfection is an illusion, it is a procrastination mindset that usually stems from fear. A fear of committing to it, a fear of it not being accepted – or another fear, but fear is usually the culprit. If you really want to do the damn thing – remember that done is better than perfect, progress over perfection, and sometimes better is the enemy of good.
Strategy : Get to the root of why you’re waiting. What are you afraid of – and then fix that internal dialogue. The perfection procrastination is a mindset hurdle – and it is going to require you to ‘put your feet on the floor’ and take that first step. Then hit the ‘publish’ button when it’s done. No matter what. To push yourself – set a deadline – and commit to stick to it.
5. Excuses Mindset
Excuses are something we can get caught up in. And you maybe damn good at coming up with excuses. You may even convince yourself they’re true. Common Excuses are :
- I can’t because my kids…
- I can’t find time
- I can’t afford…
- If [this] then I’d [that]
But the truth is – all of these excuses have solutions. If you’re willing to look for it.
Strategy : Acknowledge that you’re making an excuse – and find the solution.
- I can’t because my kids… : How can I include my kids, can I find childcare, are my kids cared for & happy
- I can’t find time : Do a daily audit, search for pockets of waisted time, use boundaries, and time management to more intentionally use your time
- I can’t afford : Audit your finances to find places you are waisting money, how can you save money, will what you’re wanting to do lead to saving or making money, and then do a deep dive online to find budget friendly options or even free resources
- If [this] then I’d [that] : This is the perfection procrastination – just waiting on the right circumstances. See above!
6. Super Woman Syndrome
Lemme just start out with this. Moms, wives, women – we are all effing Super Woman. We don’t need to ‘prove’ it to anyone. But needing help & boundaries are not a sign of weakness.
When you are doing ‘all the things’ (cringe, I HATE this term), you will end up half assing everything. If your ‘to do’ list is never finished – chances are that you have too much ish on it. Doing less, focusing more, and setting those boundaries will not be a reason to turn in your cape. It will make you more intentional + more purposeful.
Strategy : Take a look at that ‘to do’ list, beside each item write out WHY you are doing it. If it doesn’t align with your CORE 4 or your goals – it can wait. And if it is something that someone besides you can do – delegate it.
7. Frozen Mentality
If you have been too overwhelmed for too long – you might be in that stuck place. You are treading water – surviving, but barely. This can feel like everyone around you is moving forward and you’re living the same day over and over again. See ‘Groundhog’s Day’.
I see this a lot with clients who have houses or projects that have just gotten away from them. They are frozen in the chaos that is surrounding them and they don’t seen an end in sight. But luckily – there is light at the end of that tunnel.
Strategy : Start small. Finish one thing. If it is your house that’s gotten out of control – organize, clean, and finish one room. The room you spend the most time in. Then move to the next. Don’t try to accomplish everything in one day.
If you are drowning in work projects – start by making a list. And complete the most pressing project first. Then move on from there.
Don’t take on too much at one time – and celebrate each time you finish something. Momentum will build with each thing you complete.
8. The Cycle of Starting Over
See if this chart looks like you..
How many times have you said – I’ll start over on Monday?
Ya know what you’re conceding to when you say that – starting over. Starting from scratch, back to the beginning.
Starting over is an escape hatch. When things get tough – I’ll just start over.
Strategy : Choose to be adaptable. First create a Plan A & Plan B so that you have a fall back plan, so when things aren’t perfect (and they won’t always -or ever be) you can keep going.
Second, make a commitment to pick back up. Instead of saying I’ll start over on Monday – choose to get back to it (don’t use the words ‘start over’) tomorrow. Then once you get good at getting back to it tomorrow, choose to get back to it this afternoon. And the, pick back up in the moment.
9. Hunting the Starting Line
Do you fall into one – or more than one – of these categories!? And you’ve read the strategy & it all sounds good… but you are just not sure where that starting line is FOR YOU.
That’s ok. You don’t have to do this all on your own. It is ok to need help (no one will make you turn in that super woman cape).
Strategy : Get help. That could be turning to your partner, to a trusted friend, or seeking someone who specializes in helping women get out of their overwhelm cycle & create a plan.
I offer 1:1 Productivity thru Purpose coaching for female entrepreneurs. By creating boundaries & priorities we can set up structure for your weeks that will lead you to become more productive and fulfill your true purpose.
If you are ready to find that starting line – apply here to work with me, applying isn’t a commitment, it starts a conversation.
Until Next Time –